The Lost Child

The Lost Child

Most stories start off with a once upon a time or a long time ago in a far-off land but, mine starts right here, right now. Like life, stories are made of choices. This story, my story is no fairytale, but it is made up of choices. The story begins before I was born, in a rugged old home in a small town, hidden from civilization. This little town, surrounded by woodsy trees, is called Snow-Meadow. Ironically the town has a magical sounding name but, the home this story takes place in, is far less than magical. The house is on Cold-bear Lane and just short of the end of the street is a small 2-bedroom, broken-down, cottage with loose door hinges and broken windows. Inside, the wallpaper is peeling off the walls, the carpet is ripped away, the dishes are piling up in the sink. Beds are never made, sheets and blankets are thrown over the bed, beer bottles are thrown around the house as if a frat party was thrown. The woman who lives here has had drugs in her system since she was 16. She’s an addict, alcoholic, and abusive mother to 5 children, who all live in this paper house with thin walls that only hold the pain and tears of the years before.

The children, Elle (16), Abby (12), Sarah (10), Lewis (7) and Joey (2) were very close, they had no choice to be. They only had each other. Those who were old enough went to school but could never grow close to any friends because they were ashamed of how they were brought up. How they were treated. Perdita, the mother, never took care of her kids. She left that to be taken care of by her oldest daughter Elle. Elle was 16, never been on a date, never had any friends. But it wasn’t because she wasn’t sweet enough or pretty enough, but because she could never let her guard down and be herself. She was never allowed to have fun because she had to take care of her siblings. She had the responsibility of mother at 16 to children that weren’t her own. Elle dreamed of one day she would be saved by this guy, who she viewed as a hero, saving her from this mistreated Cinderella life. She wanted to be a kid. Most teenagers like going to parties, drinking, acting like they’re twenty-one when they’re only kids. But Elle, she was different. Because of her siblings, she never got to be a kid.

Friday night was Perdita’s date night, if you want to call it that. She never came home earlier than 3 o’clock a.m. drunk and stoned beyond function. Elle always had trouble getting the kids to bed, so when Perdita came home, at least 2 kids would still be awake. Elle always stayed up, making sure her mom came home.

“Pretty long date. Huh mom?” Elle confronted with a little fear hiding in her throat.

“what’s it to you?” Perdita says slurring her words, as she stumbles to the couch.

“At this point it means nothing to me, but Lewis and Joey still love and look up to you. They don’t understand your problems yet” Elle explains stepping back in fear. Elle knew the unstable state her mother was in could resolve in violence, but she didn’t care. Elle needed to get this off her chest.

“The sooner they learn the better off they’ll be” Perdita says still slurring her words as her head is spinning in a fog.

“Do you even hear yourself mom?”

Perdita hears the disrespect in Elle’s voice and rushes to her, stumbling, and throws her to the ground.

“I don’t want to hear another disrespectful word of your ignorant face! Do you understand me?” Perdita screams as she continuously kicks her daughter in the gut.

“Mommy what are you doing, you’re hurting her!” Joey screams in his toddler voice. The youngest child didn’t understand much but pain he knew.

“Showing your sister what happens when you disrespect me. Do you want to be next?” Perdita Explains. The young boy, in his wet diaper, runs out of the room and hides. Perdita stops kicking her daughter, grabs a bottle of rum and walks into her room, slamming the door behind her. Elle tries to get up but falls back down crying in pain. Her ribs are bruised. Her confidence is shattered. Her dreams are distant.

The next morning, as Perdita slept, the kids snuck out to check on Elle, who was asleep on the living room floor. She had not the strength to crawl to the room. Hearing her little siblings come in she lifts herself up. The 12-year-old, blonde, blue eyed, little sister, Abby, tried to help her up. Elle, still full of bruises, sits up in pain. Watching her scared little siblings' faces turn white, she looks at them with love, and tries to speak but the pain is too much.

“Elle are you ok?” joey asks breaking the dead silence.

“of course not, look at her. She’s covered in bruises!” Sarah exclaimed. Sarah is 10, closest in age to Abby and they were inseparable. Almost connected by the hip.

“Guys its ok. I’m not in pain.” Elle says trying to get up to prove it but, falls back down, exhaling in pain.

“Nice try.” Abby jokes

“Should we take her to the doctor?” asked Sarah.

“No!” Elle exclaimed “guys look at me, if I go to the doctor, they’ll wonder what happened. I would have to tell them everything. I can’t do that. If they find out mom’s state, they will take us out of her care” she explained.

“But isn’t that a good thing? She’s a sucky mom” Abby questions.

“No hon, no. see if they take us away from mom, they will separate all of us”

“That can’t happen!” the children all screamed

“It won’t! We just have to wait 2 more years. Then I’ll be 18 and I can take custody of you guys when they find out what a bad mom, she is”

The fear in the children’s eyes was undeniable. They felt trapped but for that moment, a glimmer of hope flooded through their eyes.

As Elle heals in the next cold, and rainy months, Perdita finds a guy, one that seems to be sticking around. His name isn’t important because as her story goes on his will fall short. You see as he is merely an illusion. He comes around only for a small amount of time. He leaves when he hears two words out of Perdita’s mouth. The words “I’m pregnant” are the words that make them all leave. None stick around long enough to know if it was a boy or girl, because none truly cared. In this case it’s a girl. Perdita saved up money because she didn’t want another baby to take care of. She had 5 she didn’t care about now. The money she saved up was meant for an abortion. But as Perdita makes her way to the clinic, she spots a casino and she couldn’t resist the chance to go, no kids around, money in her hand and no one to tell her no. She gambled the night away and came home with no money. But a baby still in her stomach.

The baby was not mentioned for 5 months till she started to show and could no longer hide the fact she was pregnant. No one could ever tell till she was showing, she never showed any signs of pregnancy. No morning sickness, no cravings but she drank a whole lot more than when she wasn’t pregnant. She didn’t care how it affected the innocent baby, she only cared what helped her cope with the fact that she is pregnant. The kids always knew when she was pregnant despite how hard she tried to keep it a secret. They knew because of how she dressed in loser clothes and how much more she drank.

“Mom, why do you have a casino cup?” Elle asked, already knowing the answer.

“Why don’t you stay out of my stuff and keep your nose out of my business.” Perdita says trying to cover up her gambling problem.

“Mom your pregnant, again, aren’t you?” Elle asked hesitantly, trying not to make eye contact.

“yes” Perdita says not looking at her daughter.

Elle doesn’t know how to respond so she grabs a bottle of soda and walks to her room. When she reaches her room, her siblings are waiting on the bed. She greets them with a smile and lays on the bed.

“Guys it’s late, and you have school tomorrow” Elle says, taking on that motherly role.

They all get ready for bed, brushing their teeth and putting their pajamas on. When Sarah asked, “what’s going to happen when mom has the baby?” The room drew quiet. None of them wanted to answer but they all knew the answer. The room stayed quiet as the night came to an end.

As the sun peaked through the clouds and came up over the mountain tops. The children started to rise and prepare for school. None of them saying a word. They walk through the rugged home, tripping over pulled up carpet and beer bottles, they reached the door and out they went.

Perdita laying halfway off her bed, with lipstick smeared across her face hears the door slam. She rolls off the bed, with anger and rushes to the door. But before she can take her hormonal anger out on the kids, she seen them turning the corner, and she went back inside. Escaping the mental and physical abuse from their mom, the kids try to focus on school for the next 8 hours of the day. Elle dropped the little ones off at preschool and elementary school, before heading off to high school where she’s forced to socialize with kids who don’t have a care in the world. Meanwhile she’s constantly worrying about surviving her mother and taking on the role of a parent to her younger siblings.

As the months rolled by Perdita tried her best to miscarry her pregnancy but despite her best efforts, the baby was coming fast. She knew she wasn’t fit to be a mother and she didn’t want to disappoint another child. As the baby’s been growing so has Perdita’s stomach and as her belly grows, she couldn’t get bars to sell to her and no guy wanted to sleep with her. She was growing more and more frustrated by this pregnancy every day. Elle and the kids were still going to school and keeping their heads down at home. After school they would hunker down in their room and stay out of sight of Perdita’s wrath.

“Elle, what’s going to happen to us? Mom is due any day now.” Abby asked.

“It’ll be ok. Mom is pretty good at hiding her addiction from authorities.” Elle responds trying to be comforting but the kids see through her fear. As they all sit in silence doing homework, ignoring the elephant in the room, they hear a scream from the other room. They all ran to the living room to see what happened. Perdita was bent over, one hand gripping the torn-up couch, the other hand holding her stomach, fluid was all over the floor, the baby was coming, and coming fast. Perdita felt something wrong, she looked at Elle with sorrowful eyes. Elle could see something was wrong, she ran for the phone and dialed 911. It was the last thing any of them wanted but they couldn’t stand there and watch their mother and sibling die.

“911, what's your emergency?” Elle had the phone on speaker, all the kids could hear.

“Hi, we need an ambulance to Cold-bear Lane now! My mom is in labor, something isn't right” Elle explained frantic.

“Ok, ma'am it is going to be ok, I need you to take a deep breath. Now can you tell me the address?”

Elle gave all the information the operator asked for, and the ambulance and firetruck showed up minutes after. Perdita was rushed to the hospital, Elle and the kids followed behind in Perdita's car. The kids arrived to the hospital the same time the ambulance did, they saw Perdita strapped to the gurney being rushed up to the O.R. The umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck, without intervention, they both would have died. Elle and the kids waited in the waiting room of the hospital. Elle was pacing the floor making the other kids nervous. None of them speaking a word. Flinching at every adult that passed by them.

Coming out of the OR, Perdita was taken to a room in the ICU to rest up. The baby was rushed to the NICU, and put on oxygen. A nurse walks in to Perdita's room to check on her.

“Ms. Perdita is it?” the nurse asks, with a slight pause waiting for a response, when she didn't get one she continued. “You seem to be recovering well, even considering all the complications. How are you feeling?” She waits for a response again but when it doesn’t come she continues on. “you lost a lot of blood you're probably going to feel weak for awhile. But you should gain some strength back before you leave the hospital. I am going to make some rounds and I'll be back to check on you before dinner.” The nurse starts to walk out the door, she pauses and turns back, “Oh Ms. Perdita, I forgot to congratulate you on your beautiful baby girl. She's a tough one.” The nurse says and walks out the door. Perdita lays in her bed frozen, looking out the hospital window, knees to her chest, she starts to cry silently.

As the kids are down in the waiting room, a social worker walks up to them. The nightmare they always feared has arrived.

“Hi, Elle, Sarah, Abby, Lewis and Joey, right?” The social worker announces.

Elle steps up, “yes, that's us. I'm Elle, is there any news on our mom or the baby?”

“Hi Elle, I am Serena, I'm with social services do you have a minute to speak?” the social worker introduces herself, all the kids get really tense and start to fidget in their seats. Elle is nervous but she agrees to talk for a few minutes. They sit down in the waiting room next to the rest of the kids.

“Kids I want to first start by explaining that I am only here to help and want to make sure that you are all in a safe and nurturing environment. That being said we are concerned that your current home situation may not be best environment for you all. Do you want to talk a little bit about your home situation?” the social worker begins.

“I don’t think we have anything to say” Elle tries to hide the truth.

“Ok, that’s ok. Elle I want you to know we know that your mother has a problem and she needs to find help, serious help.” The kids start to fidget even more scared. Elle puts her hand on the knee of her sibling to provide them with a little extra comfort.

“What kind of problem are you referring to?” Elle says deflecting

“Elle, your mom has a drug problem. And your baby sister was born with drugs in her system.” The social worker breaks this new information. Elle and the kids are shocked. They had a baby sister, and their mom almost killed her.

“So, it's a girl? Is she ok? How will the drugs affect her?” Elle asks concerned for her new baby sister.

“She is in the NICU right now getting the treatment she needs to help her live and go through withdrawal. She may have some cognitive delays in her future but she will get all the support she needs in her new family.”

“What new family?” Elle asks

“Oh I'm sorry, I thought you knew, before your sister was taken to the NICU, your mom signed her parental rights away. Your sister will be given up for adoption.” The social worker explains. The kids look broken, sad.

“That’s probably for the best” Elle says slightly relieved.

“Now, because your sister was born with neonatal abstinence syndrome, it opened up an investigation regarding your mothers capabilities as a mother. And I am here to talk with you all about the way you were raised.” The social worker explains. The kids are quiet, hoping the silence would make the social worker go away. Elle sits looking at the social worker, feeling guilty, she looks at her siblings, who are all sitting in fear. She whispers to the social worker, “If I talk, I need you to promise me my siblings will be able to stay together even if they’re not with me.”

“I will do my very best to keep them all together.” The social worker promised.

“Ok, well…” Elle started to explain their life, how they were raised, and how she was the one that basically raised her siblings.

“Wow… Elle I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that and at such a young age. But I am here to help you. All of you.” The social worker told the kids. After taking notes and talking to all the kids she got up and left the waiting room.

Hours had passed when she finally came back, Elle stood up to greet her.

“Ms. Serena you’re back? Any word on our sister?” Elle asks.

“Actually yes dear, your little sister is doing well in the NICU, she will be in the NICU for a few days but we actually have a family in line for her to be adopted into. So once she is all clear in the NICU, they will be taking her home.” The Social worker updates. Elle is sad about it but she is excited for a better life for her sister. “In other news, I know this might be hard for you all but social services has decided to take you out of your mothers custody and we are placing you in the foster care system.”

The kids are frantic over this news, they are terrified of being separated, Elle sits with them all and comforts them during this difficult conversation.

“Where are they all being placed?” Elle asks.

“I am so glad you asked, because I have a family that has been trying to have kids for years now and have decided to take on the foster care system, and help disadvantaged kids feel loved.” The social worker explains.

“When do they get to meet this family?” Elle asks.

“Actually you have already met the foster mom.”

“You?” Elle asks.

“My husband and I have been looking for the right fit for our family, and I think the 5 of you are the perfect match.” The social worker announces. The kids start to feel a little excited and relieved. But still struggle with fear for the time being. As the day comes to a close, Perdita is admitted to a rehab facility, and the kids are all headed off to Ms. Serena’s house for a fresh start.